A series of dental c-rays. CT Scans. Regular visits at a dental clinic.
A few months after undergoing operation for missed abortion, I'm now having another minor operation -- a minor dental surgery.
The CT Scans revealed that I have, on the left part of my face and on top of my front teeth, a nasoalveolar cyst (non-malignant, at least). I have been taking medications for months but the medicines are no longer effective so the dentist (Doc Dennis) referred me to a dental surgeon who advised me to have x-rays and CT Scans for accurate diagnosis.
The surgeon said that prior to the operation, I need to undergo root canal which is set on Oct. 9. After that, the operation will be scheduled.
Sometimes, it frightens me to know that I have to undergo this operation. For me, there's nothing more disturbing than being a regular visitor of a surgeon. I'm not used to being sick. It's because I haven't been really ill. Right now, I don't feel sick at all.
In fact, when I went to the hospital for my CT Scans, the staff at the Computed Tomography Department, and even the person at the billing section asked me casually, "Sino po ang pasyente? ("Who is the patient?)" When I said, "Ako po (I am)," they lifted their heads and looked at me with a smile. It seemed to me they thought I was kidding when I said I was the patient. Perhaps it was because when they looked at me, they noticed that I was wearing my school uniform as faculty, wearing make-up, dangling earrings and high-heeled pair of black shoes. Then when I looked at the other patients who were also about to have CT Scans, I realized, "I must be lucky." One of the patients who also requested for CT Scans was brought there using a movable bed. He couldn't move well and he has a dextrose injected to his arms.
But still, the thought of having to go through all these is making me feel uneasy.
It's because first, I have to do a lot of explaining to my kids -- 11, 8 and 3 years old. I don't want them to think that their mom is sick, esp. when they saw the printed copies of the 3D scans. I want to show them that things are normal and the operation is nothing to be alarmed of. And true enough, I feel this way -- that there is nothing so alarming about my condition. I guess it's just a matter of how I set my mind. If I think that I'm miserable for having to undergo this, then, that is what's going to happen. But optimism is a lot better than any other kind of thinking, I suppose.
Second, I have to cancel all my plans e.g. those related to iTeAcH and reschedule all my commitments after the operation is done. I don't want to think about starting something without finishing this one first. First things first.
This thing that I'm going through now makes me appreciate more what Sheryl Leach (creator of Barney) says in her article in YOU'VE GOT TO READ THIS BOOK. According to Leach, "Emotions come and go, but we re not those emotions; they just pass through us. At any moment, we can choose to participate in fear and doubt, or we can turn to the Now and find peace. . . Our life situation may be the same, but we can alter our response to it" (p. 57).
Reference:
Canfield, J. and Hendricks, G (2006). You've got to read this book. NY: HarperCollins Publishers.
Comments