After one missed abortion (miscarriage), huge hospital bills, 75-page paper, lots of quality time with my kids, and medicines worth thousands of pesos, I am finally back to work starting February 9.
At times, I still think, "What have I done to deserve losing twin babies?" But inside, I feel that "it might be for the best." Maybe it should be a learning experience. If I don't learn from what happened, I wouldn't forgive myself.
So what have I learned from losing them?
Number one, there's no substitute for quality time with family, esp. with my kids who are growing up so fast. In school, I'm sure they would find an instructor who can do what I can, or perhaps better than what I can do. But at home, nobody can do what a mom does -- not even dads :-)
Number two, the incident made me realize that the best investment one can have is not really money, but relationships. It's easy to spend money for hospital bills but relationships do last. My students, colleagues, former students, my Korean students and even Prof. Lee of ILI helped to make me feel better. Knowing that through these years, I have built such a relationship with them made the healing process easier. And of course, my family and my husband's sisters never left us. We really needed assistance in the house for I was in bed rest for a couple of weeks. My sisters-in-law stayed in the house to help me and my husband in all concerns at home.
Number three, more important than time and relationships is health. Now that I feel healthy again, I realize how beautiful life is when you're able and healthy -- physically and emotionally. What happened to me was physically and emotionally draining -- really. Without good health, we can lose everything we enjoy when we're healthy.
Now, I'm back to my full-time job. Of course, I also miss my job in school-- the unending student concerns and problems, preparing for lessons, teaching, checking papers, computing for grades, and a lot of errands from the office -- ha ha. Good luck!
At times, I still think, "What have I done to deserve losing twin babies?" But inside, I feel that "it might be for the best." Maybe it should be a learning experience. If I don't learn from what happened, I wouldn't forgive myself.
So what have I learned from losing them?
Number one, there's no substitute for quality time with family, esp. with my kids who are growing up so fast. In school, I'm sure they would find an instructor who can do what I can, or perhaps better than what I can do. But at home, nobody can do what a mom does -- not even dads :-)
Number two, the incident made me realize that the best investment one can have is not really money, but relationships. It's easy to spend money for hospital bills but relationships do last. My students, colleagues, former students, my Korean students and even Prof. Lee of ILI helped to make me feel better. Knowing that through these years, I have built such a relationship with them made the healing process easier. And of course, my family and my husband's sisters never left us. We really needed assistance in the house for I was in bed rest for a couple of weeks. My sisters-in-law stayed in the house to help me and my husband in all concerns at home.
Number three, more important than time and relationships is health. Now that I feel healthy again, I realize how beautiful life is when you're able and healthy -- physically and emotionally. What happened to me was physically and emotionally draining -- really. Without good health, we can lose everything we enjoy when we're healthy.
Now, I'm back to my full-time job. Of course, I also miss my job in school-- the unending student concerns and problems, preparing for lessons, teaching, checking papers, computing for grades, and a lot of errands from the office -- ha ha. Good luck!
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