My Socially Constructed Reality

I'm currently writing my dissertation. Well, yeah, I'm finishing this dissertation so I could get a doctoral degree. But at the back of my mind, I still ask myself, "Who needs a doctoral degree?" Honestly, I'm trying to finish this doctoral degree just because I think it's long overdue. It's just like an unfinished business that has to be done so as to "clean the slate" for me. Personally, I don't think this is the best thing I need. If I need this doctoral degree, I could have finished years back. For a time, I thought getting the doctoral degree is the best way to have salary increase. That was exactly the reason I enrolled in Ph. D. program here in AUF in the year 2005. Back then, I needed some increase in my salary and the only solution I saw was to finish a doctoral degree. Along the way, however, I found side jobs, e.g. writing online and teaching ESL to Korean students, that could make me earn more than double, or even tr...

My dissertation proposal is a case study of the conduct of the Automated Election System in Angeles City. I had my proposal defense last Saturday. Fortunately or unfortunately, my proposed method was technically not approved by the panel. The details on what happened during the proposal are posted on my dissertation blog: www.election2010angelescity.blogspot.com . What can I say? Hmmm.... I was a bit dismayed because the panel could not appreciate qualitative study. I am optimistic that there's so much to learn from a qualitative study that uses multiple sources, e.g. diff. types of interviews, observations, document reviews, and collection of artifacts. Unfortunately, the panel thought a case study of Angeles City-COMELEC's implementation of the Automated Election System won't have any significance at all. In short, they turned me to conducting survey and supporting the data with FGD. They suggested a regional coverage, the whole Central Luzon. One of the panelists ev...

I've become too strong. Sometimes I wish I were weak. Being too strong makes me lose myself. The stronger I become, the harder it is for me to pick up the pieces. I can't go on living my life this way...

The holy week was not really holy for me. This was time of the year when I played hard. Really played hard, as in trying to make the toon level every time I logged in . And to help my toon level up, even my husband and my daughter would play with her. This year, my toon is DanieGanda. Danie, for the record, is my daughter's nick name. But I thought of adding the word "Ganda," which is a tagalog term for Beauty. DanieGanda is a human priest in the normal mode. As the rule in Shaiya, a player won't be able to create a character in the hard mode [here, toons are stronger] without first reaching level 40 in the normal mode, which is a level lower than HM. When DanieGanda started, she was power leveled by king-kruller, whom DanieGanda met while my daughter was playing the toon. King_kruller was als o Danie's first friend in Shaiya. At the moment, he's already level 58, UM. The experience was good for Danie was able to meet players from different walks o...

My husband's toon: Chachu04 My toon: DanieGanda

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." "The brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something." "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -- Randy Pausch

First of all, I’d like to mention that Zeus Salazar was the first scholar that has made a mark on my being, when I was in college. I would never forget how much his idea of “p antayong pananaw ” had sunk into my system. My History professor, during my first year in UP, inculcated in us the value of having history written by Filipinos, and not by foreign authors. That was where the idea of “ pantayong pananaw ” centered on. And of course, I’d always remember this because it was in this subject where I got a grade of 1.0. Well, in UP, students normally say, “Only gods deserve 1.0.” Of course they were only kidding. Zeus Salazar. He knew exactly what Filipinos are like: They would resort to any way just to avoid hurting a fellow Filipino . This is very Filipino, and this is what I sometimes don’t like about Filipinos. In the workplace, when you start voicing out directly how you feel about certain issues, the “normal” ones brand y...

TUESDAYS with Morrie. The Five People You Meet in Heaven. For One More Day. The first one highlights compelling thoughts that Mitch learned from his professor, Morrie Schwartz, whom he met on Tuesdays in his house. Together, they talked about the inevitable realities in life: love, marriage, death, ageing, etc. The second book brings the readers to the so-called heaven, through Eddie, the main character in the story. There, Eddie met five people whom he never thought he would ever meet. T he third story is about Charley Benetto, who, as Mitch describes, has been chasing the wrong things in life. Charley realizes what he is missing when he gets to spend another day with his mom. These three stories are enough to make us fe el that indeed, life isn’t what we see it to be. And sometimes, we need other people to make us realize that there is more to life than just waking up in the morning and going back to bed at the end of the d...

I came at 3:30 p.m. at the scheduled student forum yesterday. I was particularly hoping to see Gibo Teodoro Jr., a presidentiable. Actually, he's the only one whom I think I can accept as the next president of this country. I have admired this guy since I heard him speak at GMA 7's program "Isang Tanong." Gibo, given his background and accomplishments, is such a brilliant personality. So when I knew that he was coming here, I didn't let the opportunity pass without seeing and hearing him speak. There is one problem, however. After the long wait -- the forum started at almost 5 p.m. -- Gibo and Edu entered the venue and they were escorted by a number of politicians in Pampanga. The officials were called one by one. As I heard their names and looked at their faces, I realized, "Aha, this if fun! Seeing a bunch of local officials who all have no credibility. And not surprisingly, they're all on the administration party." #1: Boking Morales. Mab...

Parents train kids to follow rules. Teachers teach children to be obedient. Priests remind young people to do only what is good. And time has taught us that not following rules has consequences -- or punishment. But still, even when we grew old, we still don't know how to follow rules. Married spouses philander. Disloyal friends betray each other. Grown-up students cheat. Adults lie every minute. Kids break the rules. Adults ignore the rules. Oh, well, maybe rules, after all, are made to be broken . The Desperate Housewives know this.

When you look at strangers, you can tell if they're happy or sad . Sad strangers tend to have that serious look,or that lonely face, or even such a blank stare. Happy strangers, on the other hand, tend to smile at you even without any reason. Yes, it's true. It's easy to spot happy strangers. But it is never easy to know what exactly makes them happy. Some are happy because they just got a promotion. Some are glad because they made it in a competition. Still, many are simply happy because they finally got what their hearts desire. The thing is, sometimes, what makes other people happy can actually make others sad . What may bring glory to one may inflict pain to another. This is the sad fact. **********************

Are the housewives in the DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES series really desperate? Desperate Housewives Season 6 shows the lives of 6 housewives who all have strengths to keep them going , weaknesses to overcome , and secrets, lots of secrets, to reveal . Susan Delfino , Mike's wife, has a daughter who was a victim of a violent attack. Susan wants to find out who did it. She suspects that Danny, Angie's teenage son, is the perpetrator but no evidence would point at him. What's more alarming is not that Julie, Susan's daughter, was attacked but that she is doing a lot of things that Susan has no idea about. In one episode, Susan read Julie's diary and commented that Julie seems to be a stranger because she (Susan) has no idea what's going on in her own daughter's life. Lynette Scavo is pregnant (twin) in this episode. The problem is that she just got promoted. She accepted the promotion and decided not to reveal her secret -- that she's pregnant. She is thi...

I’ve been checking exams and computing for grades the whole day. I need a break. Let me see. I have a lot of things in my mind at the moment – actually, since last night. I slept at about 3 am but I was not doing anything but staring on the ceiling. A lot of thoughts were in my mind last night. I wondered how and when I could go over this health concern. I’ve been processing papers and it’s taking me long making a decision. I was supposed to visit a doctor of ENT today but I still couldn’t make up my mind so I didn’t go. I was also thinking about the movie THE FIVE PEOP LE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN. I’ve read the book by Mitch Albom and I love it, the same way that I love his other books, e.g. Tuesdays with Morrie and For One More Day . When I watched the movie, it made me wonder what I am here on Earth for. I imagined who I want to meet in heaven when I die – ha ha – as if I am sure to go to heaven or as if there is indeed heave...

Ondoy, the worst typhoon that ever hit the Philippines has gone out of the country. The floods that caused lives of almost 300 should serve as a lesson to the Philippine government. If no one will learn from the tragedy, then everything would just be wasted: the lives which were lost, the houses buried with mud, the cars which were damaged, etc. I hope there would be no such typhoon which will hit the country again. I hope the local government had learned that drainage and sanitation systems are critical issues to be dealt with seriously. Floods are not new to me. I have experienced such floods that reached up to the second floor of the house when I lived in Malabon. It was a normal occurrence in Malabon almost every year. This time, the floods brought about by Ondoy took the lives of almost 300 Filipinos. It's really a sad thing for Filipinos to experience this. Ondoy didn't spare my friends in Manila. They were also affected but survived :-) ---------------------------...

A series of dental c-rays. CT Scans. Regular visits at a dental clinic. A few months after undergoing operation for missed abortion, I'm now having another minor operation -- a minor dental surgery. The CT Scans revealed that I have, on the left part of my face and on top of my front teeth, a nasoalveolar cyst (non-malignant, at least). I have been taking medications for months but the medicines are no longer effective so the dentist (Doc Dennis) referred me to a dental surgeon who advised me to have x-rays and CT Scans for accurate diagnosis. The surgeon said that prior to the operation, I need to undergo root canal which is set on Oct. 9. After that, the operation will be scheduled. Sometimes, it frightens me to know that I have to undergo this operation. For me, there's nothing more disturbing than being a regular visitor of a surgeon. I'm not used to being sick. It's because I haven't been really ill. Right now, I don't feel sick at all . In fact, when I...