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Ang pinakamahirap isulat

Marami-rami na rin akong naisulat.
May mga isinulat ako para sa mga propesor ko sa UP. Siyempre, kailangan kong magsumite ng maraming papel para matapos and kursong pinili ko -- AB Journalism.
Nagsulat na rin ako sa komiks noong ako ay nasa hayskul pa. May bayad iyon at natuwa ako dahil sa edad kong iyon ay nangongolekta na ako ng tseke mula sa isang publikasyon.
Nakapagsulat na rin ako ng isang nobela na ibinenta sa National Bookstore noong ako ay patapos na ng kolehiyo. Matapos ang ilang buwan, nasingil ko ang apat na libong pisong kabayaran sa pagtatahi ko ng romantikong nobela na hinugot ko sa karanasan ko at karanasan ng mga nasa paligid ko.
Sa diyaryo, nakapagsulat na rin ako noong ako ay intern pa sa Phil. Daily Inquirer Northern Luzon Bureau.
Marami-rami na rin akong naisulat na research articles mula noong nag-aaral pa ako hanggang sa magsimula akong magturo sa kolehiyo.

Ang hindi ko maintindihan, hindi ko pa pala naisulat ang pinakamahirap isulat sa lahat. Ano iyon? Ang KAHIT ANO. Oo, maniwala man kayo o hindi, hindi ko alam kung saan ako kukuha ng ideya kung paano simulan ang papel na KAHIT ANO kung tawagin ng propesor ko sa aking post-graduate studies.
Dalawa lang kasi kaming estudyante niya. Tutorial lang kaya hindi kami nagkikita sa klasrum. Pinagsusumite lang niya kami ng kahit anong maisipan niya. Dumating na yata sa punto na wala na siyang maisip ipasulat sa amin. O baka naman ayaw na niyang mag-isip ng gusto niyang ipagawa sa amin. Noong una, pinagawa lamang niya ako ng syllabus para sa klaseng pinasukan ko. Naisip mo ba, ako na ang estudyante, ako pa ang pinagawa ng syllabus. At wala namang silbi ang syllabus na iyon dahil hindi naman namin pinag-usapan. Wala namang gumamit ng syllabus na pinagawa niya. Sayang nga kasi inayos ko ang pagsulat sa syllabus na iyon. Nag-download pa nga ako ng interesanteng audio materials kasama ng syllabus. PInakinggan ko iyon at ginawan ng module na akma sa tema at paksa ng materyales. Tapos, kinopya ko sa isang CD.
Sa mga sumunod na pagkakataon na naging propesor ko uli siya, di na siya nagsabi ng kung ano ang dapat kong isumite. Basta magsumite daw ako ng KAHIT ANO. Isip daw ako ng pwedeng isulat at isumite ko sa kanya.
Hindi talaga ako magaling magsulat ng KAHIT ANO. Kapag nagsusulat kasi ako, tinatanong ko ang sarili ko: Sino ang babasa? Ano ang paksa? Ano ang layunin? Ano ang kaalaman ng mambabasa sa paksa?
Ang resulta tuloy, nagkaroon ako ng INC. Kasalanan ko nga dahil hindi ako sumunod sa panuntunan na sumulat ng KAHIT ANO.
Nakakahiya --- ewan kung ako ang dapat mahiya.
Siyangapala, sinadya kong isulat ito gamit ang sariling wika. Sinadya kong gumamit ng wikang Pilipino dahil nahihiya ako sa sinumang banyaga na makakabasa. Baka sabihin pa nila, "What a waste!" Sayang talaga --

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