Skip to main content

b-r-o-t-h-e-r

What does it take to be a brother?


This is a very subjective question. There can be as many answers as there are people who have brothers.

I have always wondered, “Does my brother know his mission and his role on this planet?” He doesn’t seem to be aware of it.

He was expected to be a model to all of us, who are younger than he is.

As the eldest child of my parents, he should have shown us how to patiently spend hours studying lessons, writing school papers, and reviewing for exams;

As the eldest, he should have taught us the difference between needs and wants;

As the eldest, he should have encouraged us to continue studying and preparing for our future;

As the eldest, he should have understood our limitations, and weaknesses;

As the eldest, he should have been at our youngest sister’s wedding;

As the eldest, he should unite our family despite all trials and problems;

As the eldest, he should have given full assistance to our mom who once needed his help;

As the eldest, he should know that he, just like all of us, has limitations and weaknesses.

Until now, I keep thinking: Why would someone as intelligent as he is, be so insensitive?

How can a genius like him be so inconsiderate and inert?

How can he not learn to sit down and talk about serious family matters?

How can he not be sensitive of his own mother’s feelings?

How can he be so selfish?

All right, he was able to help us.

He used to help me with my assignments when we were in elementary school in Manila.

He used to draw for me when I have assignments in Arts when we were studying at Araneta Univ.

When I was in college, he gave me money so I was able to buy a pair of white pants, flat iron (I was staying is a dorm in Baguio), and some blouses. Also, he gave me money for a hot oil treatment.

But I won’t forget that he intentionally didn’t attend my graduation in Baguio. He just said he “would be starving for several days if he uses his budget for transportation going to Baguio.” (he was working in Manila then) Okay—but he just didn’t want to see me get my diploma. If he wanted to be there, he could find a way. My boyfriend (now my husband) came to my graduation even if he had work in Manila and had no enough money to treat me to an expensive restaurant. I didn’t hear any complaint from him. Kapatid ko pa ang hindi pumunta.

My brother, all right, used to help our family, financially. That was when he had a good job (although he didn’t have a college diploma) – earning more than a hundred thousand pesos a month.

A business affair suddenly changed everything.

He just stopped all forms of communication with us – no text, no phone call, no visit, not even during the most precious moment in my sister’s life – her wedding. He was nowhere to be found. He just stopped attending family gatherings.

Now, we need his presence, understanding, care, and support.

He knows so much in computer, math, arts, logic, science, writing, English. He has so much in his brain. But he lacks a heart – for his family, for us.

How can he allow a business matter affect the relationship we nurtured when we were young?

We went to the same elementary and high schools. We even had the same teachers. We both lived with our grandma when my mom was abroad many years ago.

We grew up together, but he doesn’t seem to feel what we feel. We have the same parents but he doesn’t seem to know why he is needed in our family – he forgot that his role is important for us because we never had a father.

How can he not choose to take care of our mom and stick to us, as his brothers and sisters, knowing that his father didn’t care for us either?

How can he sleep soundly at night as he keeps himself away from us?

May he realize that life is too short. If he chooses to be gone, I might say I am ready to lose a brother who does not at all care.”

This is just how I feel.

I hope he feels something for his own family.






Comments

Gold Futures said…
HI, sorry to see your life is not so great, it gives me a little strength though... I thought I was the only one who had things fall apart. This life is really strange... Don't give up. Listen for this song to be released by a really popular artist in 6 months ---its called "keep searching"--- you do just that, we all have to. Winners never quit and quitters never win.

Popular posts from this blog

Management Lessons from GUNG HO

'I must recognize that man achieves the highest degree of efficiency when he plays. If someone says he works out of loyalty to the company, he is a damned liar.' ----Soichiro Honda Founder-millionaire Honda Motor Co., Ltd. When a company fails, who should take the blame? When the workers complain, who should do some reflections, the management or the workers themselves? Hunt Stevenson, in the movie GUNG HO (means to WORK TOGETHER) , needed to do some reflections before it was too late. His failure to do some actions would result in closure of Assan Motors, thereby leaving hundreds of American laborers unemployed. According to Robert Heller, the author of the article EFFECTIVE MANAGEMENT: TAKING RESPONSIBILITY, "How the boss behaves has a profound effect on how other managers perform - and thus on the performance of the entire outfit. That's a self-evident truth, acknowledged by most people. But few bosses acknowledge the corollary: that inferior performance is partl...

Levels Earned, Lessons Learned in SHAIYA

The holy week was not really holy for me. This was time of the year when I played hard. Really played hard, as in trying to make the toon level every time I logged in . And to help my toon level up, even my husband and my daughter would play with her. This year, my toon is DanieGanda. Danie, for the record, is my daughter's nick name. But I thought of adding the word "Ganda," which is a tagalog term for Beauty. DanieGanda is a human priest in the normal mode. As the rule in Shaiya, a player won't be able to create a character in the hard mode [here, toons are stronger] without first reaching level 40 in the normal mode, which is a level lower than HM. When DanieGanda started, she was power leveled by king-kruller, whom DanieGanda met while my daughter was playing the toon. King_kruller was als o Danie's first friend in Shaiya. At the moment, he's already level 58, UM. The experience was good for Danie was able to meet players from different walks o...

My SHAIYA battle for a week

A duo with -kamikaze- MMORPG. Online games. Virtual world. SHAIYA. The past holy week signaled the beginning and end of my battle in the virtual world. I started playing an MMORPG for a week -- trying to level up my character named SexySteffi in an online game known to players as SHAIYA . It wasn't as sophisticated as Wow but most things are basically the same. The best parts would be killing monsters to level up and killing darkies to get higher ranks. Another good thing about online games like SHAIYA is the opportunity to talk to people or gamers from different parts of the world. I've met gamers from Columbia, Chile, Texas, Australia, Canada, etc. Gamers really come from different walks of life. Some are young, some old, some married, some single, some just fooling around, some serious about leveling up. As a priest, SexySteffi is in demand in the game :-) Some players would always invite her to a party so that they could conquer the monsters without getting killed a...