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sem-ender reflection: UNEDITED

Another sem has ended. I finally finished computation of grades. Now, i need to sit down and prepare for the next semester. Well, I can't let another sem begin without my sem-ender reflection.

The past sem was a sem of realization, of tension at the faculty room, of continual struggle, and of mixed emotions. I started the sem feeling so frustrated about how things are in the workplace. I found myself wondering why I was still here -- in the middle of the sem. And I ended the sem today, still feeling disappointed about certain matters.

Not everything that happened to me was negative and disappointing, though. I can proudly say that my relationship with my students is getting stronger. I feel more at ease with them, without compromising my credibility. I feel their sincerity (Of course, not all of them are sincere -- some pretend to be real so they could get the "what they want" from teachers). And I'd like to believe they're learning from me, just as I learn from them.

The result of the performance evaluation for the previous academic year gave me a reason to re-structure my priorities in school and to make time-management strategy that will work for me. I realized I have to prioritize conducting my own research and I have to continue my post-grad studies. This means I should minimize or lessen the number of hours I spend dealing with students during consultations. I also need to lessen the time I spend preparing for the subject I am teaching. I should learn to teach with less preparation and without much output to check afterwards. Well, of course, there is the assumption that the more I spend time with one thing, the more time I deprive myself of doing another thing.

After teaching for over 8 years, I think I've already established myself as a credible teacher, at least as far as my students are concerned. It's about time to take off my "teaching hat" and shift to a teacher-as-researcher mode. After all, the academe is a publish-or-perish environment.

I have to remind myself to stop attending to students' concerns. Instead, I have to start looking after my own academic growth as a faculty. I must put in my mind that I don't get evaluated for the amount of time I spend with students during thesis consultation, makeup classes, academic discussion outside classroom. The reality is that I get evaluated based on the degrees that I finished, the number of research output I wrote, the number of articles published with my byline, the number and quality of books published with I as the main author or as a co-author.

The school won't ask about how much support -- that includes time, energy, encouragement -- I gave to Samaskom or to the CAS Ideas or to the graduating students who are writing their theses. The school doesn't care how many "confused souls" went back to the academe when I encouraged them to do so. The school is not interested in measuring the knowledge and skills learned by the students in my class. The school does not take a peek at the Power Point presentations I prepared for my classes. The school does not care about the number of hours I spend checking 47 individual papers in one class and reading and checking 7 thesis proposals or manuscripts. ALL THESE ACTIVITIES must be done with minimum time if I want to conduct research and prepare myself for an international paper presentation -- my ultimate goal.

It's all up to me how I am going to manage my time. I just hope that I can re-align my habits and attitude according to my plans for the next sem. I promise myself that I am going to produce at least two research output at the end of the academic year. And of course, I should have publication. I hope to come up with at least two books -- either as sole author or as co-author :-)

I WISH MYSELF GOOD LUCK!




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